Knitting for Life
Practical lessons learned one stitch at a time
I never thought of myself as a particularly patient person. In fact, I’ve always considered myself rather impatient, all things considered. For example, when I was a kid, I saw this incredible group of tap dancers at a school assembly. Absolutely dazzled, I begged my mom to let me take tap lessons, of course not realizing that the professional dancers at the assembly were adults who had likely been dancing for decades at that point. After my unrelenting insistence for weeks on end, my mom eventually relented and took me to an intro class so I could see what it was like. Looking at my fellow 7 year-olds, all in unison practicing the heel-toe tap back and forth for what seemed like hours, I left the class in (and I’m not exaggerating) disgust, exclaiming “I don’t want to do that boring stuff, I want to do the cool stuff!” And that was the beginning and end of my career as a tap dancer.
Oftentimes, when people find out that I knit or they see something that I’ve sewn, I’ll hear something to this effect: “I wish I could do that but I don’t have the patience!” Well, you could imagine my surprise then when I, budding tap dance starlet and impatient cow, took to the world of handcrafts, known the world over for being time-consuming, like a fish to water.
That’s not to say I don’t experience my moments of frustration when something is taking longer than expected or (and this is especially true) when something has not turned out the way I wanted. Nothing makes the flames of rage burn hotter for me than having spent hours, day, weeks, and sometimes months, on something only to step back and go “motherfffuuuuucccckkkekeerrrrrwoiegjowrihgeroubgaiubrgia!!!!” I could throw my sewing machine off a moving truck at that point. The deep well of unresolved anger surges like Old Faithful and I can easily become a petulant, self-pitying little brat, angry at THE MACHINE, THE THREAD, THE STUPID TENSION, THE FUCKING SCISSORS, THE FABRIC, and then, ultimately, and always, myself.
Yet still I persist. Since I’ve been knitting, just over two years now, a new set of frustrations, obstacles, and moments of rage present themselves on a regular basis. But knitting, like sewing, has taught me so much about life. More than I ever would have expected. I began these pursuits solely with the goal of expressing myself creatively, and as it turns out, have learned some very valuable lessons about life, and myself, in the process. The process continues, as it always will, but allow me to share some little gems I’ve picked up along the way.
Being courageous: When I first started sewing, I went in completely blind. That is to say, I didn’t even know how to turn the machine on, but I had all of these aspirations to make all kinds of wild costumes. After picking up the absolute basics (literally pressing the foot pedal and how to use the back stitch button), I was off. I had no idea how to read or use a pattern, what seam allowance was, or anything else even remotely useful. But still, I saw the drawing of what I wanted and just winged it. I cut, stitched, cut some more, stitched some more until I got where I wanted to be. Striped fabric I couldn’t possibly find pre-made? I’ll paint it! Wig in a color I can’t find? I’ll dye it! You can’t use regular hair dye on a synthetic wig? I’ll Frankenstein it somehow (pro tip: the secret to this is acrylic ink and rubbing alcohol). And on I have gone. I heard years ago that the difference between being brave and courageous is that bravery comes from doing something that is scary without fear, while courage comes from being afraid but still pressing on. I think sometimes we come across things that excite us or spark our curiosity and we want to know more or try it or engage with it, but the fear very quickly sets in and kills that curiosity before it ever has a chance, or we get frustrated and bail before we really give it a chance. If you wanted to make something and saw that the way to make it is to K4 P1 YO S2O K1 PS2O YO P1, you might be like “forget it.” But being courageous is so vital to living a rich life, even in small ways. When I took my first proper sewing course, which was literally sewing 101, I said that I really wanted to make a corset. One of the instructors said, with doubt dripping off her, “Oh…that’s a really ambitious project for a beginner.” I scoffed at that — who cares if it was ambitious, no discouragement here! And to be honest, if you take your time with it, it really isn’t that ambitious and I made my first corset 6 months later (so take THAT!).
Patience really is a virtue. I think there’s a time and place for being impatient. Sometimes you really can’t be waiting forever, and you do need to bust through the wall like the Kool Aid guy because it was really you standing in the way the whole time. BUT it’s also true that good things, and also great things, take time. Yes, sometimes I get bored doing 1,000 rows of stockinette and I think I’ll never finish. But there’s a reason for that. Every stitch is needed to get where I want to be. I’m not a speed knitter, and also I have a human body with human curves that have to be taken into account. To get the final result that I want, I have to take my time, not skip steps or take shortcuts, and stay the course. I also can’t go on autopilot due to impatience. Confidence is one thing, but the road to carelessness is paved with overconfidence. Many, many projects have met their end in my scrap pile as a result of my own hubris and impatience, and the only lesson I learned from that was that I shouldn’t have taken the shortcut because now I’ve got nothing but wasted money and high levels of cortisol, annoyance, and disappointment. The impatience got me nowhere, so in an effort to, you know, actually learn from my mistakes, I figured a little patience would go a long way and lo, I was right. (You still can’t convince me to make a toile or a swatch though…I like to live on the edge).
Failure sucks, disappointment is inevitable. I feel like we all understand this on some level, but nothing drives the point home quite like spending hours of your life on something, dutifully following all the steps, and realizing that after all is said and done…you actually kind of hate it. Do you start over? Do you give up on it? Do you start a trash fire and watch with glee as it burns to ash? I don’t know, but you’ve got options. It can be so disappointing when you’ve spent precious time and money to put something together that you were so excited for at the start, and you’re unhappy with the outcome. It sucks. It sucks A LOT. It’s frustrating, disappointing - Was it me? Did I mess this up somewhere? How did I not catch that? How on earth did I pick this color thinking it was going to look good? The fit is terrible! It’s awful! I hate it hate it HATE IT! And it’s so easy to jump into a shame spiral about your inadequacies and shortcomings. But you learn pretty fast that sometimes these things just happen. Yes, despite all your efforts, the care you took, the step by step, you did just drop a stitch somewhere in the lace pattern and now it’s beyond the point of repair. Sometimes you were having a crap day and, against your better judgement, you decided to work on something and disaster struck. Whether you decide to scrap the project altogether and move on to something else or start over and try again, you have to take a moment to face the music, and then pull it off your needles and unravel it all. The only way out is through, and knitting is no exception. For as much as it can be a happy place to create and foster your creativity, you will also encounter disappointment and failure - such is life, all good things and bad things at the same time.
One step at a time will get you there. Of all the lessons I’ve learned, I think this one has been the most insightful. In the same vein as my tap dancing aspirations, I have always been a future-mind dreamer. I’ve always dreamed about the future and all of these different realities, and as a creative person this helps me see things not as they are, but how they could be, which is awesome. As a teen I would spend hours reading, daydreaming, making up stories, thinking about all the possibilities, different lives I could have, different paths that I could take. I got, and still get, so excited by these possibilities and am by nature a big picture thinker type of person. It takes all kinds of people to make the world go round, and I don’t consider this a flaw in any way. If anything, I think it helps me maintain a very strong sense of limitless possibilities. I am never afraid of the future because I know it can go so many different directions. But the downside is that I have a hard time breaking down the smaller steps to get to the bigger goal. I can easily see the points A and Z on the map, but have a harder time finding and defining the line that connects them. Taking on hobbies like learning to make my own clothes has been instrumental in helping me to not only enjoy the present moment, one stitch at a time, but also to break down finding the lines, the step by step. I have my big dream visions of cool clothing and how I want to express myself artistically, but having to literally go stitch by stitch to get there, hand, wrist, neck cramps and all, really helped the message land for me. I’ll never get the payoff without putting in the work.
I hope this was a convincing PSA to start learning a handcraft. Obviously I am biased here and the world could use more fiber and textiles artists making things by themselves, for themselves, but you could get this experience with any tactile craft that allows you to zone out and lets the rest of the world fall away. It’s just you and the making process. It simply cannot be matched and quite frankly it’s helping me maintain some semblance of sanity in this crazy world. If I haven’t convinced you to try it yet, what other words of encouragement do you need after seeing some of the cool things I’ve made so far this year below!
Currently Cast On:
So Summer Shorts by Jessie Maed: I had planned (and still plan) to make the So Summer set (top and shorts) with the Undine yarn from Ritual Dyes. I was so excited to get started on that as my first summer project. Well, I finished the So Summer top and was so stoked to wear it and move on to the shorts. As my luck would have it, as it was drying the dye from the Siren colorway bled into the other lighter colored areas I had used for the top and it’s a mess. Tragic really. I set it aside for the moment until I decide what to do with it, and the shorts have kind of taken a back burner too, since I wanted the top and bottoms to match. But since all the yarn I got for this set is still the same fiber content, just different colors, I will knit them up anyway and dye both the top and bottoms and just put contrasting accents for the hems and collar. So stay tuned for that!
Helix Pullover by Jessie Maed: As you can tell by now I am a big fan of Jessie Maed. It’s so nice to see a designer who is making light, breezy stuff, especially for people with tig ol’ bitties. I also live in Arizona and despite my dreams of living in a colder climate one day, it is not worth making only sweaters until that big move arrives. Many of her tops can be made with a single skein, so I can afford to get some interesting yarn from indie companies and get a cute wearable from it. I’m using Cotton Sox by my girl SuperGlo in Moon Lagoon for this and just looking at it makes me feel like it’s 10 degrees cooler out.
Vintage Art Deco Halter: Ugh. This one. This one is currently hibernating. This was set to be my first vintage pattern. If you know anything about vintage patterns, whether sewing or knitting, they are written usually with the assumption that the maker has a very strong knowledge of their craft aka very minimal instructions, since women of day’s past were usually brought up doing some kind of needlecraft. I was trying my best to follow the instructions to the letter, but as I was trying it on I thought ‘this makes no sense.’ I frogged it, took a good look at the picture of the finished product and thought hmmm I think I could just figure that out as I go? Well, I kind of did that. And it didn’t turn out super off, just that the fit at the bust is kind of weird and kind of skewed. I thought I could put my sewing skills to work and just kind of tweak the fit that way without having to undo or frog anything, but I was tired and set it aside for now until I can take another stab at it. I’m using Bamboo Pop from Universal Yarn in Rose, White, Turquoise, and Sundae.
Late Summer Bonus Additions:
Interval Top by Maria Isaeva: I’ve been wanting an interesting neutral top that is really versatile, so when I came across this top I was like YES! I loved the cable pattern, so I think I may do this in a single tone of off-white. Possibly in DROPS Cotton Merino.
Secret Island Dress by Galia Patterns: I bought this pattern a few months ago and have been really wanting to make it for the summer. Since I’ve started getting more into knitting, I haven’t been as into sewing, but knowing how straightforward this design is, I have really been itching to make it and I am on the hunt for just the right fabric. For being the 5th largest city in the country, you’d think that Phoenix would have more fabric store options but I am banished to the world of online fabric shopping which is really hard when you can’t touch something or see how it drapes. I’m unsure about the vibe and tone I want for the dress, but once I decide, it’s game on. Despite the length of summer in Phoenix being miserably oppressive, it at least gives me more time to make the summer wardrobe.
Projected Cast-Ons:
With my summer projects coming to a close, I shall soon begin my autumn and winter queue! Here are just the top four highest on the list (because of course there are more and it is subject to change).
Shoujo Beret by Fran López. I have been DYING to make one of Fran López’s patterns for ages. I love the kawaii style and so many of her patterns are inspired by some of my favorite anime (iykyk). I’ve got a few other patterns of hers in my favorites, but I’ll start with the hat for now, possibly in a red or magenta, as I think it would be a really pretty contrast with my dark hair!
Fruity Sweater by Hip Knit Shop. We are continuing our cozier cute knit energy for the winter season! I know I say winter and a normal person would think darker colors, but again, it’s Arizona and it’s never THAT cold, nor is it really dark outside, but regardless — I could be a little bright pink strawberry spot on a dark cold winter day! I have been eyeing the strawberry sweater for a while and am looking forward to wearing the shit out of it. Plus working with mohair is such a sensory pleasure, I never miss an opportunity.
Cloud Sweater by Petite Knit. Another light sweater, and my first Petite Knit. You won’t catch me in an oatmeal color like the one used for this sample (the closer to beige, the further away I run), so I am picturing this one made in a chartreuse-green color with a strand of mohair. I really loved the Cascade Heritage 6 for my off the shoulder top and it’s so soft and squishy, so I’m considering using that with some mohair for a light, soft, cozy brussel sprout look.
Love Magick Sweater by Disco Stitch. Now we’re in business! It’s technically called a sweater but it looks more like a top to me, and I live for a dramatic sleeve. Can’t wait to make this in like a deep wine color perhaps and rock it at goth night (in the winter, of course…).
Also, if you’re on Ravelry, reach out! I’m trying to connect with more peeps on there so I can stay up to date with what everyone is making: https://www.ravelry.com/people/NuyuluTextiles
Also also, a shoutout to the new photos of my finished knits! Not bad right? I’m a notoriously poor photographer, like it’s just really not a skill I have so I’ve never had good photos of my finished objects. Thankfully, my boyfriend came through as tech bae and I finally got some good photos! He’s the best!
As the world falls down, let’s keep stitching it together. Until next time.
Niawa
Asa x